 unequivocallove
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Name: megan.
Gender: Female
Interests: books, jeans, shopping, magazines, music, smoothies, fake nails, hugs&kisses, my ipod touch, taking walks, boys, singing, writing, and texting.
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AIM:  mmkay95
Member Since:
4/22/2009
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| i cant even describe how i feel right now or what my head is thinking. i was on the edge of having sex saturday night.
You keep me coming back for more and I feel a little better than I did before.
I was paying attention even when I told myself I wasn't.
If his voice hasn't been the melody of my life, it's been the bass line,
so subtle you don't notice it until it's missing.
it’s hard to be happy when your mix cds won’t work and you live in a town where it’s never cold enough to wear your favorite coat and you just can’t ever think of the right words and all your fingers hurt from wasting your time trying to find out. sometimes it feels better to cry.
now i want you to tell me something, and this time i want you to mean it
Time has told me, you are a rare, rare find. A troubled cure for a troubled mind.
And time has told me not to ask for more, for someday our ocean will find its shore.
that is what we do. that is what people do.
they stay alive for each other.
But love wasn't about sacrifice, and it wasn't abut falling short of someone's expectations.
By definition, love made you better than good enough; it redefined perfection to
include your traits, instead of excluding them.
do you want to know the truth? i'm scared, okay? i'm terrified to get too close to you because i don't want to get my heart broken. i'm afraid that if we take this further i'm just going to get hurt and to be honest, i don't think i could take that.
We're all lonely and scared. We all have problems. Big ones. We all love someone way too fucking much.
but maybe it's all eyes on you; in love with ego and attention
the eyes that are just begging me for more
this is gone and i can see it.
your head is full of words, full of words that don't mean anything
I don't know what falling in love feels like. I wonder if it's anything like how I feel about him.
Besides, the darker the walls, the brighter the sky outside.
so hate me
but i am in your heart
pulling it apart
Are there ever adequate words for this experience?
When you are suddenly overwhelmed by a wave of feeling, a knowing,
when you are drawn to someone in this way? With the strength of the unavoidable?
I know you may roll your eyes at this,
but I'm so glad you exist.
If I'd been someone else in a different world I would have done something different, but I was myself and the world was the world, so I was silent.
I'm not calling you a liar, just don't lie to me. I'm not calling you a thief, just don't steal from me. I'm not calling you a ghost, just stop haunting me. And I love you so much, I'm gonna let you kill me.
She was often restless to the point of irritability. She simply liked to feel that she was prevented from leaving,
that she was needed.
my friends younger brother just came out of 5 weeks of a coma. when asked him what had "woken him up" he replied "I heard mom crying and i had to comfort her".
I want to fall in love. I want to know what it feels like to have my breath catch in my throat every time I see that person, I want to know what it's like to have your heart beat so hard that you feel like it will jump out of your chest, what it feels like to have a shock go up and down your body at the slightest touch.
i always said you were the one who got me
through everything, but i now realize
you were the one that caused the everything
that you barley even got me through.
But sometimes, we just have to be happy with what people can offer us.
Even if it's not what we want, at least it's something. You know?
every single person has at least
one secret that would break your heart.
i love sleep.
my life has a tendency to fall
apart when im awake, you know?
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| logan has been nice to me since tuesday and that makes me very happy. i really miss jeremy. but i get to see him this weekend and that makes me really really happy. this update isnt that good, but whatever:)
i know technically we're not together, but forget the title and whatever. because if you look into my eyes and listen to what i have to say, you'll know i`m the one girl who will never walk away.
I'm still trapped holding on to what we used to be.
To let go isn’t to forget, not to think about, or ignore. It doesn’t leave feelings of anger, jealousy, or regret. Letting go isn’t about winning or losing. It’s not about pride and it’s not about how you appear, and it’s not obsessing or dwelling on the past. Letting go isn’t blocking memories or thinking sad thoughts, and doesn’t leave emptiness, hurt, or sadness. It’s not about giving in or giving up. Letting go isn’t about loss and it’s not about defeat. To let go is to cherish the memories, but to overcome and move on. It is having an open mind & confidence in the future. Letting go is learning and experiencing and growing. To let go is to be thankful for the experiences that made you laugh, made you cry, and made you grow. It’s about all that you have, all that you had, and all that you will soon gain. Letting go is having the courage to accept change, and the strength to keep moving. Letting go is growing up. It is realizing that the heart can sometimes be the most potent remedy. To let go is to open a door, and to clear a path and set yourself free.
He's not the kind of guy that would ignore me
when he's with friends. he's the kind of the guy who
would hold me tighter and kiss me a little harder
just to make them jealous.
Serendipity.
Looking for something, then finding something else,
and then realizing that what you've just found is
more suited to you than what you thought you were looking for.
Somewhere out there is a lost and found
Somewhere out there is a lasting love
Somewhere out there playing is the saddest tune
Somewhere out there I can hear the beating of
Your heart
I think tears are the sign of a heart breaking.
Breaking with happiness, breaking with sadness, breaking with relief.
Tears are the outer expression of an inner release.
I'm tired of waking up and wishing I hadn't.
© yourbreakingme_qts
my biggest fear is that i'll never find another love like this one. i hadn't asked for this to happen. i didn’t want to fall. but here i am, at the bottom, completely in love with you. i'd trade everything to have you here. i'd give up everything for the feeling i feel when i'm with you. if i can't feel it again, then i don't know what i'd do. your scent, the feel of your skin against mine, the soft kisses on these warm summer nights. this is what i waited my whole life for. and i'm going to spend my entire life searching for a moment where i feel it again. and this time, when i find it, i'll never let it get away from me. i will hold him in my arms and take in everything he is. i will fall in love and have a smile that no one else can replace. and i'll whisper, "i've waited my whole life for this." and he'll say, "then you've waited long enough."
you were the one guy who was supposed
to show me you were different, instead
you showed me you were all the same.
If you want to know how much I love you,
try catching raindrops;
the ones you catch are how much you love me,
and the ones you miss are how much I love you.
Sometimes it makes me want to laugh.
Sometimes it makes me want to take my toaster in the bath.
"I am who I feel like being today. For every day opens another chapter
to the endless book of metaphors I've created for identity"
©dramatic--exposure
everyone, at some point in their lives, wakes up in the middle of the night with the feeling that they are all alone in the world, and that nobody loves them now and that nobody will ever love them, and that they will never have a decent night’s sleep again and will spend their lives wandering blearily around a loveless landscape, hoping desperately that their circumstances will improve, but suspecting, in their heart of hearts, that they will remain unloved forever. the best thing to do in these circumstances is to wake somebody else up, so that they can feel this way, too.
Have you ever wanted to ask someone something, but you were too afraid of the answer?
When people ask me what I see in you, I don't know what to tell them. Because honestly, I don't know. But when I look into your eyes, I see magic and it just makes me want to lose myself in your arms.
Out of suffering comes creativity.
You cannot spell painting without pain.
-John Lithgow
Every girl is going to love a guy who will never love them back.
and as she sits there crying because he will never want her,
she doesn't realize that across town there's a boy thinking of her.
A boy who would give anything to see her smile, make her laugh,
or kiss her in the rain. A boy who would never make her cry
because he doesn't want her. But she will forever be chasing the boy
who will never love her, instead of giving her heart to the one who deserves it.
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| im so stressed out. stephen isnt talking to me anymore (if you remember him), logan keeps talking shit BUT wants to be with me, i cant see jeremy because of my parents although im still dating him, i have F's in school right now, ive got two reports due and two tests on wednesday that i know im gonna bomb, my parents are up my ass now, basically everyone is getting mad at me because im doing weed, and my weight keeps dropping. well heres a pretty big post :)
i wanted to explode,
to pull my ribs apart and
let the sun shine in
I'm crazy about you and I want you to know that if I had the choice of hanging out
with anyone in the entire world or just sitting at home with you eating a pizza
and watching a crappy tv show.. I'd choose you everytime.
I held him close to me with my eyes closed, wondering if anything in my life had ever been this perfect, and knowing at the same time that it hadn't. I was in love, and the feeling was even more wonderful than I ever imagined it could be.
Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same
"He was a source of weed.
A source of adventures.
And a source of inspiration."
"And above all, watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you because the greatest secrets are always
hidden in the most unlikely places. Those who don't believe in magic will never find it."
It's gonna be a lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely day.
He loved her, of course, but better than that, he chose her, day after day.
Choice: that was the thing.
love takes off masks that we
fear we cannot live without and
know we cannot live within.
So Brown Eyes I'll hold you near, 'cause you're the only song I want to hear
A melody softly soaring through my atmosphere.
Rain falls, quickly wetting my hair and clothes. My cries fall upon her deaf ears, more tears. "Let me in, please, it's cold, I'm freezing out here. I miss you, my dear. You're all his and I'm all yours. Like it or not, I'm all you've got."
If only you would stay,
stick around,
I could tell you whats been on my mind
and what my heart has been saying.
If only you would stop trying
to find reasons to leave.
I’ve thought for a long time that we were going to end up together, so I didn’t really care so much about the when of it. Now, though, the long road is starting to seem like the infinite road.
"art is the only way to run away, without leaving home."
I have to face the truth that no one could ever look at me like you do,
like I'm something worth holding on to.
what if everything you believed in was a lie?
even me.
"I had the feeling that those looks you gave me were real. What if I ripped your heart apart at the seams? Maybe then you'd know how I feel.'''
I do it for the drugs;
I do it just to feel alive.
I do it for the love that I get
from the bottom of a bottle.
But the presence of your hand was always there, even now, you balance me.
it's amazing, because when you're a kid, you see the life you want. and it never crosses your mind that it isn't going to turn out that way.
Does he watch your favorite movies?
Does he hold you when you cry?
Does he let you tell him all your favorite parts
when you've seen it a million times?
Does he sing to all your music
while you dance to "Purple Rain?"
Does he do all these things, like I used to?
You sit here and you smile at me, and I wonder, have you ever smiled like that at anyone else?
Never give up if you still want to try,
never wipe the tears if you still want to cry,
never settle for the answer if you still want to know
never say "i don't like him" if you can't let him go.
I'm too afraid to let myself love you like I know I could.
And you know what I like the best?
How hours after you kiss me,
I can still feel it on my lips.
So, please, just be patient. I'm so afraid to care about someone. I know it seems like I'm this strong girl who can get through anything, but inside I'm very fragile. I've had so many things thrown at me, & each one has only made a crack. What I'm afraid of is shattering.
its all so blurry. unfocused. out of line.
There is no person in the world who is made to handle every punch that's thrown at them.
We aren't made that way. In fact, we're made to get mad, upset, sad, be hurt, stumble and fall.
We aren't supposed to be able to handle everything.
How I wish you could see the potential, the potential of you and me.
Its like a book elegantly bound but in a language that you can't read, just yet.
the coldness just remind me of how truly empty i really am.
You're running through my veins, you feel like a freight train.
I'm trying everything to keep my hands off of you. So give me something.
Please just give me something because I want you more than they do.
And oh no, I think I lost myself in your deep blue eyes. And oh no,
I think it's time we cut to the chase tonight.
i dont think i have the strength to let you go.
Your idea of me is fabricated with materials you have borrowed from other people and from yourself. What you think of me depends on what you think of yourself. Perhaps you create your idea of me out of material you would like to eliminate from your own idea of yourself. Perhaps your idea of me is a reflection of what other people think of you. Or perhaps what you think of me is simply what you think I think of you.
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| i have a new boyfriend, jeremy. since wednesday. i go from kissing once, to making out up to 15 times in one night. i got high yesterday and then last night, after the football game, jeremy stayed and hung out with me in my room. (hes my brothers best friend, so hed normally be with my brother). my parents didnt know we were together. and well me and jeremy put in adventureland, and sat on the floor watching it. well actually, we made out. a lot. we couldnt resist each other. we had to stop a lot though, to control ourselves. him especially. hes so in love with me. well, we barely saw the movie. we ended up on the bed and making out some more. eventually i said i was tired, and i laid down, and he said he'll leave when i fall asleep. but we ended up falling asleep together. he woke up at like 5, and went back to my brothers room. and today, we were watching tv in my room, and i had my door open, and we were kissing. actually making out, and my mom walks by my door and says "what are we doing here?" and we were busted. jeremy went to kyles room. and i totally told off my mom. and she walked away. eventually dad threatened me saying "if i catch you with your lips on that boy again, im gonna kick your ass." and he told jeremy "your on my shit list and if i ever catch you around her again ill kick your ass." i HATE my parents so much. fuck them. fuck life. i seriously hate myself, my parents, and just life.
If you're going to stay, then stay forever and if you want to leave, then do it today. If you're going to change, change for the better. And if you're going to talk, please mean what you say
He's gorgeous, but gorgeous is an understatement.
More like you're startled every time you see him because you notice something
new in a Where's Waldo sort of way. More like you can't stop writing third
grade run on sentences because you can't even remotely begin to describe
something, someone, so inherently amazing. More like you're afraid that if
you stare at him too long, you'll prove your parents right that, yes,
your face will get stuck that way. But you don't mind.
Maybe you want her, maybe you need her
Maybe you had her, maybe you lost her to another
Wherever you're going, I'd like to go too. If you don't have anything better to do.
I'd love to spend some more time together, so what are you doing between now and forever.
That is the fear: I have lost something important, and I cannot find it, and I need it. It is fear like if someone lost his glasses and went to the glasses store and they told him the world had run out of glasses and he would just have to do without
Make a wish and place it in your heart. Anything you want. Everything you want. Do you have it? Good. Now believe it can come true. You never know when the next moment, the next smile, the next wish will come true. But if you believe that it's right around the corner, and you open your heart and mind to the possibility of it, to the certainty of it. You just might get the thing you're wishing for. The world is full of magic. You just have to believe in it. So make your wish. Do you have it? Good. Now believe in it with all your heart.
And if the rest of my days went like this, I'd be happy. We're so wrong, but so right, and I love it. I'm going to make the most of every second I'm with you, since I don't know when it's going to be over. You're sweeping me off my feet, and I like how this feels.
I’m a very independent girl, and sometimes people think I’m weird because of it. But that doesn’t bother me. Just because I’m not afraid to stand up for what I believe in, even when everyone else is sitting down, that’s no reason to follow the crowd. Because maybe, just maybe, I’ll make someone’s life better because I wasn’t afraid.
do you ever think of me?
Cause you had a good girl, thats a keeper. You had a good girl but didnt know how to treat her. So silly boy get out of my face - Why? Do you like the way regrets taste?
I hope you can't sleep and you dream about it. And
when you dream I hope you can't sleep and you scream
about it. I hope your conscience eats at you and you can't
breathe without me.
we all die. end of story.
maybe i'm stupid for making myself feel like shit just so he can be happy
maybe i'm stupid for actually thinking that he cared about me
but maybe he's stupid for not knowing a good thing when it's staring him right in the face
i wish that some people in my life would just cut the bull shit and be totally honest about something, for once.
I’ve learned that I’m miserable because I
can be, I’m happy when it suits me and
I’m lonely because I choose to be.
Kiss me now and I'll show you what temptation is all about.
I've moved on, I've found someone else, I thought I was over you, but I guess I was wrong. I still have those same feelings, that I did when I was with you, but I'm trying to forget the past, and move on with the future. But somehow I can't, I don't know why. That feeling inside, it burns, hurts, almost kills me. I can't stand not to be with you. The pain; it hurts to have feelings anymore, but I have to forget it, cover up the pain and pretend I'm fine. Just let it go, and wait, til i can be with you again.
He misses you? Good, he should. You're sexy, pretty, fun, outgoing and fun to be around. Guys that haven't met you yet, miss you. But don't get back together with him, because somewhere out there, there is a guy searching really hard for you. He's the one that deserves someone amazing like you. Let him have it and not the asshole that left you.
| | |
| i opened up to someone, for the first time in a long time. i feel like things are gonna be different now.. a bad different.
And I loved him, Jesus how I loved him. It wasn’t love of course, even I can see now that it was infatuation, but at the time it near enough killed me. Its so passionate, so intense, so painful, that even years afterward you still feel the hurt when you hear their name.
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us most. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and famous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in all of us. And when we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.
If I loved you less, I could talk about it more.
I'm here, and i love you.
I have always loved you, and I will always love you.
I was thinking of you, seeing your face in my mind,
every second that i was away.
When I told you that i didn't want you,
it was the very blackest kind of blasphemy
And the believing changes everything. We've the right to dream, and that, I suppose is the greatest power; the notion that we can pick possibility from trees like ripe fruit. We are filled with hope. Alive with transformation of what we can become.
"Books fall open, you fall in. When you climb out again, you're a bit larger than you used to be"
I love how we're not kissy all the time.
How we can argue and just mess around
because we don't have to show other people
how much we love each other, because all
that really matters is that both you and I know.
Your love's a gathered storm I chased across the sky.
Nothing is really wrong in my life, but my brain keeps on insisting that there is. Or maybe it's my heart that's doing the insisting. I can't really tell. But, what i do know, is because this is the first time in so long that things have been okay.
©netforever95
When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you.
of all the things you've taught me, there are still two things i don't know. i don't know how to fall out of love with you and i don't know how to let go.
And sometimes it just hits me out of nowhere, all of a sudden this overwhelming sadness rushes over me. And I get discouraged and I get upset and I feel hopeless, sad, and hurt. And once again, I feel numb to the world.
"It's about a girl who is on the cusp of becoming someone.. A girl who may not know what she wants right now and she may not know who she is right now, but who deserves the chance to find out."
its either im hoping to be with him, or hoping to get over him.
it seems like everything i hope for,
involves thinking of him.
"I hate you." And I remember looking in his eyes and speaking my deepest truth.
"I hate me, too."
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